The Rhipidon Society

WWPKDD?

If Philip K. Dick were still alive, would he blog with us? Is he blogging with us even though he's dead? What would he think of this very Dick-centric little community of blogs?

The 1978 Cosmogony and Cosmology essay was the baptism of fire that first blew my mind open. It really pushed me over this cognitive edge that I'd been teetering on for quite some time. I am now revisiting this essay. There's something in the structure of PKD's writing, maybe it's the fact that the work itself is apparently sentient, that reminds me of rose petals or onion skin. It's some kind of spiraling, layered effect that makes it very difficult to come up against any kind of a dead end. It's not a maze, it's a labyrinth.

"The universe cannot be asked to remove its mask if the person will not shed his."

What are our masks? I mean besides the obvious, besides the material preoccupations and the narcissism and ego and fear, what are the more insidious masks behind which we hide? I don't think we wear masks simply to hide ourselves -- I think we also use them to keep the universe OUT, becasue we aren't quite sure how we feel about total cosmic comprehension. I've noticed a general theme of discussion lately has been the question of how to blow up your reality, how to make the self explode so that only the truth, dark and sparkling, remains. I'm reminded of Atreyu's trials before his audience with the Southern Oracle, especially the magic mirror one wherein he is forced to comprehend -- and then to pass THROUGH -- the entirety of his being. The mirror shows you your true self, your darkest aspects as well as the light. Apparently this is more than most warriors can handle.

The removal of the mask is a pretty tall order. I feel like there's a lot of back and forth between myself and the universe, a lot of God saying, "Do you really want it?" and I'm like, "Yeah, I want it," and then God gives me some and suddenly it's like, "Whoa, okay, hold on, you can keep it, I don't want it yet." But then God is like, "No? Okay. But you told me you wanted it," and I go, "Well yeah, I mean I do, I just --" and God says, "Aha! I knew you wanted it. Here, have some." And I go, "Oh shit," and on and on, ad infinitum.

Richard Linklater said it nicely in Waking Life:

"Behind the phenomenal difference there is but one story, and that's the story of moving from the 'No' to the 'Yes.' All of life is like, 'No thank you, No thank you, No thank you.' And then, ultimately, it's, 'Yes I give in, Yes I accept, Yes I embrace.' I mean, that's the journey. Everyone gets to the 'Yes' in the end, right?"

Those "No thank yous" are the voice of what PKD has termed the Artifact, the spurious world, the blind and mechanistic servant-turned-master. Does it follow, then, that when I say No, I am giving life to lies, allowing them to live in and through me? Jesus said that it is not what goes into your mouth that will defile you, but what comes out of your mouth that will defile you.

More from PKD:

"In Christ, God descended to corporeal manhood -- at that point the division between the two realms was abolished. Those humans selected out to participate in this group mind -- they would be immortal."

Perhaps it is not the choice to be saved or not to be saved, but the choice to NOW become real. We are born Pinnochios, effigies created in the image of God, but it is up to the individual to surrender oneself to Godly possession. The homoplasmate is born -- it is by this that we are granted TRUE life and TRUE flesh. Semantically we here run the risk of coming dangerously close to the Cassiopaean doctrine of the Organic Portal. I do NOT mean to say that we are born soulless -- I think that's an evil philosophy. I believe that our souls are the very things which allow for our transmutation into the divine. God sleeps in everything that exists. God is dreaming us as we are dreaming God -- eventually both parties must awaken and return to being one mind.

"Urgrund [the Real God] creates artifact which projects universe which gives rise to life forms which evolve to a stage in which the Urgrund is "born" or reflected. This reflects the sequence of stages envisioned in the Hindu religion. First there is creation by Brahma, then Vishnu sustains the universe; then Shiva destroys it, which should be understood as receiving it back into its origin."

Discernment

I just wrote a really long post. A really personal story. And when I was almost finished telling it, I deleted it. I realized that what I needed was not to share the details of that story, but to journey through those details in order to arrive at an open space, an empty sky.

It was a verbal and emotional expulsion, preceding calm and lucidity. I had to give form to the clutter before I could sweep it away.

The windows are open. The air is moving. There is freshly cut grass outside and coffee downstairs.

The temperature is perfect.

Maha Mrtyunjaya Mantra

OM. Tryambakam yajamahe
Sugandhim pushti-vardhanam
Urvarukamiva bandhanan
Mrityor mukshiya mamritat

The Maha Mrtyunjaya Mantra is a Shiva prayer. I have found these words to be quite powerful. Here is an excerpt from a beautiful discussion of the mantra:

"The Power of Shiva's EYES

Stories glorifying Shiva as Mrityunjaya and extolling the practice of the Maha Mrityunjaya mantra abound. Many of them are allegorical-infusing characters and story line with symbolic meaning; others are primarily inspirational; still others reveal details about specific practices.

The power of the mantra has been explained by Shiva himself in the Netra Tantra, a conversation recorded between Shiva and his wife, Parvati. At the opening of the text Parvati asks, "Yours eyes are so beautiful; they are filled with the tears of compassion. How is it possible that from such eyes flared forth the terrible fire capable of reducing death itself to ashes?"

Excerpted from Netra Tantra by Pandit Rajmani Tugunait - "Siva said, "Be joined in yoga, O Parvati, for only then will you be able to understand how the fire inherent in my eyes is the immortal elixir. The light in my eyes is all-pervading. It faces every direction and it resides in all states of walking, dreaming, and sleep. It is the source of life for all living beings. It can be known only through the practice of yoga, and can never be experienced by those who lack self-effort.

"The light in my eyes is the same as one's own radiance. It is self-evident. It is the highest form of inner strength. It is eternal and it is ojas (the radiant energy that infuses matter with life). It is the power of will-the indomitable will of the soul. In it lies the seed of omniscience, the power to know, and the power to act. It is through this force, intrinsic to me, that I destroy and I create.

"The whole universe is filled and sustained by this energy. In fact the powers of will, knowledge, and action together are my eyes. They are the source of immortality, the ultimate force of healing and nourishment. They are the embodiment of my radiant vitality. The knowers of mantra science call it Mrityunjaya, the conqueror of death. It enables one to attain freedom from all forms of misery, for it is the destroyer of all diseases. Meditation on this brilliant light, manifesting in the form of Mrityunjaya mantra, cools down the scorching heat of worldly and spiritual poverty. It is pure, peaceful, and unfailing.

"The light of this mantric shakti outshines millions of suns. It is with this fire of radiant divine energy that I destroy the world in a flash and breathe life into it in no time. There is nothing beyond this power-. With this mantra one is able to conquer all one's enemies (anger, hatred, jealousy, and greed). It is the source of longevity, health, and well-being-. Assuming different forms and shapes, the power of this light, the Mrityunjaya mantra, pervades the whole universe. It is the source of all protection physicals, mental and spiritual. There is no mystery higher than this-the mystery of my eyes, the fire residing in them, and how that fire manifest in the form of Mrityunjaya mantra."

There's a great recorded version of this mantra on Manorama's CD, Sarva-Bhuteshu/In All Beings. In fact, this is an excellent CD overall. Manorama's voice is beautiful and her pronunciation is pretty much perfect. If you live in NYC you could always just go to one of her evening kirtans for the real deal. If you're into chanting/bhakti yoga you won't be disappointed.

Gnostic Candy?

"Maitreya the Betraya"

Gotta give my mom credit for coming up with that one.

Allowing the Cookie to Crumble

Tim writes:

"I guess in a lot of ways, this is what I’m looking for out of a religion or other story-system. One that somehow has it built into itself that you should move beyond it, that you should set it down. One that removes the scaffolding as you get higher and higher in it. One that self-destructs on you, leaving you by yourself again, but richer for the experience. [...] I guess what I’m looking for though is a practical application of this idea. How to use structure to overcome structure. Any ideas?"

To Tim's post, Fell added a "comment" which is really an essay unto itself, touching on a lot of important points.

These questions are both liberating and debilitating to me; they cast a light on my own little ongoing existential crisis. Sometimes I feel I've been having an existential crisis since I was about three years old. I remember being seated at a table at preschool, cutting and pasting construction paper, when I suddenly found myself having a very strange thought. I thought to myself, "I am very young. There is something precious about the state that I am in right now, and I'm going to lose touch with it as I get older." This isn't a metaphor -- this is an actual memory. The next such milestone occured on my 10th birthday as I was walking out of the house with my parents, when I realized with a sudden little pang of melancholy that I had reached the double digits. I was no longer a baby; the purity was escaping me with every tick of the clock.

I think that I was born with an awareness of this constant, almost viral occlusion of gnosis. So much of my life is centered around the desire to sweep out the excess, the information that muddles and misleads. This is reflected, I think, in my decision to pursue animation and a life in the arts and my unwillingness to go deep into mathematical or other highly structured languages or systems of thought. I think, in fact, that my ecstasy over Gnosticism and PKD's work comes largely from the fact that it DOES in some ways seem to be a self-destructing system -- it's complex and fascinating, and yet I don't feel so threatened by it, I don't feel I'm going to get LOST in it, because ultimately it always points me back toward myself, toward the clarity and the light. It's like I've finally found a matrix within which my brain can run around and play and explore, but I don't have to worry AS MUCH about my mind getting separated from my soul. It's a hard thing to articulate.

It reminds me of that PKD quote about building universes that fall apart -- I think that's exactly what he's talking about -- about a system that doesn't hold up, because ultimately it seems like systems that hold up are the systems that really threaten to keep you trapped. Maybe the real freedom comes in the ability to see that anything that doesn't crumble is a lie. Everything SHOULD crumble, except for God. Everything comprehensible is structurally unsound.

I know that I speak with my intuition more often than I speak with my mind. When I use words, I'm usually just trying to fashion some kind of clumsy representation of this very deep and experientially articulate feeling. People, myself included, talk so much about emotional ups and downs, about changing and transforming and forgetting and remembering. We're so caught up in these processes of doing and undoing, we think there's so much HAPPENING... but when I really get down to it, when I really step back from it, I feel pretty much the same all the time, and I have for as long as I can remember. At the deepest level, it's just me and this awareness of God, this awareness of the "I am" that lives inside of me. I just want to keep the "I am" engaged -- I want to stay aware of it, and I want it to keep paying attention to me, keep talking to me. Maybe that's what I was picking up on that time when I was 3.

In VALIS, I think something that's really important is the fact that PKD chooses to depict this embodiment of God as a small child. Jesus and Krishna too are often represented as little ones. To me, kids don't get stuck in ideas and systems the same way grownups do. Kids are more fluid and they seem to better comprehend the fluidity of ideas and information. They're great at maneuvering -- that's why they're always climbing trees and hiding in closets and stuff. They're constantly putting themselves PHYSICALLY into spaces where grownups don't go -- not because grownups don't fit or aren't strong enough (though in some cases this can be true), but MOSTLY because grownups have all these crazy ideas about where people should and shouldn't be. Grownups don't think they belong in a tree or under a kitchen table, so they stop visiting those spaces and they forget what those spaces are like. I know I'm all over the map here, but I really FEEL it, right now, writing this, I can really FEEL the "I am" -- I feel good and synched-up and happy.

Maybe if all the grownups in the world had kept climbing trees they wouldn't be so weak and brittle! Gnosticism and sci-fi and PKD and fairy tales and all this other stuff, it all appeals to the 3 year old in me. It's not so serious and full of rules, it just delves right the fuck into the joy and wonder and scariness of existing. In conclusion, I have no conclusion! I've had a lot of coffee though and I think I need to go eat something.

Ahh.

Unhappy Woolies?

450 Sheep Jump to Their Deaths in Turkey

"ISTANBUL, Turkey -- First one sheep jumped to its death. Then stunned Turkish shepherds, who had left the herd to graze while they had breakfast, watched as nearly 1,500 others followed, each leaping off the same cliff, Turkish media reported.

In the end, 450 dead animals lay on top of one another in a billowy white pile, the Aksam newspaper said. Those who jumped later were saved as the pile got higher and the fall more cushioned, Aksam reported.

"There's nothing we can do. They're all wasted," Nevzat Bayhan, a member of one of 26 families whose sheep were grazing together in the herd, was quoted as saying by Aksam.

The estimated loss to families in the town of Gevas, located in Van province in eastern Turkey, tops $100,000, a significant amount of money in a country where average GDP per head is around $2,700.

"Every family had an average of 20 sheep," Aksam quoted another villager, Abdullah Hazar as saying. "But now only a few families have sheep left. It's going to be hard for us."

According to this page on animal totems, sheep medicine/strengths include:

Maintaining balance in dangerous situations
Confidence in ones abilities
Fertility
Courage needed to maintain balance
New beginnings
Abundance
Assurance in new areas

So what does a mass suicide imply?

The weirdest part of that article, to me, is this bit:

"In the end, 450 dead animals lay on top of one another in a billowy white pile, the Aksam newspaper said. Those who jumped later were saved as the pile got higher and the fall more cushioned..."

What weird imagery.

I rather like sheep. Anyone who shares my sentiment might want to check out A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami. It makes for VERY WEIRD reading.

Suppressing Transformation

In the western world -- or at least here in the US -- we seem to have developed an insatiable appetite for pseudo-stability. Perhaps this is a knee-jerk response to an intuitive comprehension of the fact that we are indeed living in a very UN-stable environment. Information is increasing exponentially, technologies are developing at an asburd rate, the rich are getting richer, wars are being waged, and mental illness is on the rise. Nevous breakdowns abound, and understandably so -- it's hard to act normal when the world is crumbling, but we're living in a system within which asking questions is perceived as a threat. Many people with intuitive potential are finding that they've nowhere to turn and no framework within which to examine their mysterious and often severe bouts of depression and anxiety. Not only are we lacking a sturdy internal (emotional, psychological, spiritual) framework, but our worldview is so distorted that we are unable to make contextual sense of the pervasive chaos and misery that surrounds us. In the absence of other workable solutions, the bewildered soul seeks only to quiet the defeaning roar, by any means necessary. I believe that many have preemptively -- even pre-consciously -- concluded that real understanding is not a real option. Is it fear or laziness? I'm not sure, probably both. Millions of people have resorted to self-medication -- we now have the option of simply turning down the volume on our souls, rather than having to hear and feel our own constant weeping, rather than having to grapple with tantalizing glimmers of potential happiness. I believe that the same inability to cope that has driven to many to chemical dependency is also partially responsible for the widespread blind and rabid adherence to dualistic, oversimplified, over-zealous belief-systems, especially in the realms of politics and religion. It seems that people are seeking to either turn off their emotions, or to funnel them -- constantly, violently -- into a single idea, perhaps as a means of expelling the uncomfortable excess which is an underestandable by-product of a life lived within the confines of a hypocritical society.

This brings me back to shamanic tradition, which places tremendous emphasis on the function of fear and the importance of "permitting it to pass over and through us." I have begun to see our collective illness as analagous to the initiatory illness of the would-be shaman. Those of us who are facing our fear, engaging the black demons which are now visited upon our species, are the element of the psyche which is willing to answer the call. The soul of humankind is fragmented, however, and many shrink away from the shadow, dissociating, unwilling to know that in order to emerge from this tangled and treacherous wood we must first pass fully through the darkness -- that is, we must cast the light of comprehension upon the blackest parts of the human soul, owning all of it. Without gnosis, without knowing all parts of our collective self, healing cannot take place. The ego of humankind is fighting tooth and nail for survival. The insanity of those who would call themselves sane is evidence of this. We, the questioners and the seers, must now journey willingly into the dark subconscious of our species, seeking the source of the illness. While we are underground we must take care not to lose ourselves within a labyrinth of symptoms.

A microcosm -- in natural medicine it is believed that one should not take fever reducers when one is ill. This is because the fever is an important part of immune function. The body heats up, creating an environment that is less hospitable to foreign invaders. Germs die, healing takes place. When we allow ourselves to be drugged we are denying our ability to heal.

It is said that the shamanic sickness will persist until the initiate accepts the call. We are in the midst of a healing crisis. I believe that the prolonged fever of humankind is a precursor to profound health.

Death and Shamanism

"One aspect of Shamanic training is meeting, integrating the archetype of death itself. It often first shows up as the "Portal Guardian of the dream time" a great, vaguely human shaped black shadow being, that reflects your fear back multiplied with destructive force. It may also show up as the typical "death" image, a cloaked being with a cowl, no face. You may face it over and over, being utterly destroyed in dreams and visions over and over, till you learn to approach it with unconditional love... at which point you enter the next phase, you become that being, your consciousness a passenger within it, as it goes about reflecting fear and destroying." (The rest of the article is here.)

Shamanism is one of those things I'm hesitant to talk about, because I feel so dwarfed by it. I don't think it leaves a lot of room for heady intellectual debate -- it's too visceral. It gives me images rather than words -- earth and death and dark. The death-intimacy of the shaman path amazes me.

When I go to bed at night, I still have to make sure my closet door is closed. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. I don't like the feeling of having that big, gaping hole near me -- it's darker than the rest of the darkness, and I can feel it, even with my eyes closed. While I don't think there's actually anything in my closet, I do feel that there are things in the darkness itself.

"Prana Sparkles" and other Etheric Visions

Sometimes I can see these little tiny swirly sparkle things everywhere in my field of vision, especially if I'm looking at a clear blue sky or if there's a lot of sunlight in a room. I was just reading up on Kundalini awakening and some people claim that what I'm seeing are actually prana sparkles. Does anyone else get these? Is it just some weird optical thing? Eye doctors and scientists say it's just the blood moving through/against the back of your eye. I'm inclined to believe this, EXCEPT that I never saw them before until one morning when I was 18, during my first "real" experience with psychedelics, which happened to be absolutely amazing. It was a combination of mescaline and MDMA, supposedly. (Please note that my experience in this realm is limited to what I would term "dabbling." I think drugs are fascinating but they're not the way to go for me personally, at this point in my life.) Anyway the morning sun was coming into my friend's bedroom and we were all sitting there and I looked up and I was like "What the hell are all those little sparkly things?" ... And that was that -- I never stopped seeing them. So I guess I either fried something in my brain/eyes, or I had some kind of legit "awakening" experience. I'm fine with either one.

...

HEY -- this is interesting. During that same trip, I had one really persistent closed-eye vision the whole night, of this really weird and beautiful and HUGE eye. It was upside down, and it had a geometric or kaleidoscopic or, as I then termed it, "stained glass" look to it. Anyway I was just poking around on that same Kundalini page and apparently other people have experienced very similar visions, sometimes in conjunction with a UFO sighting? Creepy!

The other thing I want to throw out there in case anyone else has had a similar experience is this ball of light/blue pearl thing. I saw this one when I was 17. It was the middle of the night, and I was sitting on the floor in my bedroom reading about God and the universe. I was feeling deeply moved, and I asked to be given a sign or a confirmation of some sort. Within a couple of minutes, this ball of whitish blue light, about the size of a plum, appeared out of nowhere and went whizzing right past my head. It then disappeared. The entire experience lasted maybe 2 or 3 seconds, but it was VERY real and I've never before or since seen anything like it.

Anyone else?