I'm conducting a lifestyle experiment. I've always been really interested in "living right" and nutrition and detoxification both literally/physically and spiritually/emotionally. Over the years I have given all of this stuff a ridiculous amount of thought, and I'm afraid the ratio of thought to ACTION has been very lopsided for a long time. (Can you guess which I've done more of? Thinking or acting?)
What I would like to do is to implement a 30 day turn-it-around plan of action. Instead of just changing my eating habits, or starting to exercise more regularly or what have you, I'm going to do it ALL at once. Food, exercise, work, prayer, art, journaling, you name it, I'm doing it. I took some time to write down all my goals and intentions and some of it is really mundane (don't wear any nail polish, spend more time playing with the cats), while some of it is pretty intense (prayer every night and every morning, zero processed foods, a "media fast," etc).
I've tried baby steps and frankly it's never really worked for me. I think I need to give myself an intensive, immersive experience which will leave no doubt in my mind or heart or soul about the impact that this sort of change can have on your own being as well as the lives of those around you.
Admittedly, I'm not off to a very good start. I was supposed to get up early and begin at sunrise today but that plan was thwarted by some nasty food poisoning and so I'm sitting here on the couch in my PJ's being sleepy and drinking peppermint tea.
I've always been a "Highly Sensitive Person" -- I become overstimulated easily, I tend to be very emotional, and I worry a lot. One of my goals during the next 30 days is to spend less time in my headspace and more time EXISTING in the world, doing things like cooking and cleaning, praying, walking, reading, writing (not typing!), making art, etc. I also happen to be very addicted to the internet. I'm tired of inadvertantly wasting my days because I'm too wrapped up in my email, blogs, forums, etc.
Here's a basic outline of my plan:
- Get at least 7 hours of sleep every night, always going to bed by 11 pm.
- Eat only whole, unprocessed foods, limiting consumption of meat and dairy (exceptions will be made for organic animal products which will be eaten in small quantities). Dramatically increase intake of raw fruits and vegetables, eliminate refined flours and sugars. Only sweeten with stevia and agave nectar. Supplement with fish oil, essiac tea, probiotics, and chlorella.
- Begin AND end each day with prayer. (I spend a lot of time thinking about God and very, very little time actually praying and initiating conscious connection with the divine.)
- Media fast. I will be checking my email ONCE per day, never first thing in the morning, and I will not be visiting any other websites. Exceptions would be informational sites to find out times/locations of events such as Quaker meeting, etc. I won't be watching any movies or television (other than what I have to do at work -- I work at an animation studio). I am also choosing not to listen to any music other than (possibly) ambient meditation music for yoga/relaxation/etc.
- Attend Unitarian church or Quaker meeting every sunday.
- Attend yoga class once weekly (twice weekly would be ideal).
- Visit the gym three times a week.
- Take off my nail polish and leave it off for the month.
- Do a better job keeping up with household chores.
- Play with the cats so they're less hyper in the evenings.
- Meditate. Already I'm wondering how on earth I'm going to fit this in, but I'm sure it can be done. Maybe in the morning, maybe evening, not sure, we'll see.
- Stop purchasing stuff! The only items I'll be purchasing in the coming weeks will be survival-related things like food and possibly wellness-related things like supplements. No new clothes or toys or anything.
- Be compassionate. With myself and others. Practice love and forgiveness and patience. See if I can go a whole month without talking any shit about anyone, including myself. Be kinder to my loved ones. Extend myself more in service to others.
- Detach. So much of our pain and suffering is the result of attachment, expectations, and "grass is greener" syndrome. I say screw it, grass is grass and our happiness ultimately should not depend upon stupid details and having all your ducks in a row -- rather, true happiness (I suspect) should spring from a nourishing, sustaining connection with the divine and would be, I think, the natural result of being a living example of love, compassion, humility, and peace. Also I am of the opinion that God sometimes calls us to move beyond what is comfortable for us, that we may grow and better serve the divine purpose. In this case I think it is important that we not get too attached to being comfortable or feeling good -- let us instead experience a different kind of satisfaction, one that is directly proportional to the amount of goodness that we are generating in the world around us.
For a while now I've been questioning my own motives, asking myself why I do the things I do, and how much of it is really my ego's bidding and how much of it is in fact God's bidding. Experience has shown me that doing things for selfish reasons never brings any real or lasting fulfillment. We live in a society that is obsessed with the individual and in many ways we have been taught that the indivudal self is the holy grail. While I can understand the value of self-upliftment, I think it's crucial that we not get caught up in the quagmire of self-worship and self-glorification.
I know philosophically that there is no scarcity of love or peace in this universe, that love is whole and perfect in everything and we need only realize the perfection that is already there. I'm tired of endlessly rearranging the pieces in my life, trying to come up with the magic configuration that will solve the Rubik's cube of personal fulfillment. Instead I'd like to try acting with as much compassion, integrity, responsibility, and humility as I can possibly muster, sustain the effort, and see where that takes me.
These next 30 days are an offering, an inquiry, and a confrontation. I'm hoping for a massive transformation -- I'm hoping for less hoping and more being.
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